Note: Lammas is August 1st, but I'm writing this as though it had already occurred.
Happy Lammas! Or Lughnasadh, a name reported to mean "mourning for Lugh."
Lugh is a god, as I've explained before, but one nobody on campus seems to pay much attention to, let alone mourn. It's always seemed strange to me. I've had some thoughts about that this year.
But let me tell you about the actual day. It's been hot lately, but today the weather was lovely--cool and dry with thin, fleecy clouds under a blue sky. As in years past, we had a feast in a large event tent on the Central Field, everything the farm produces on offer in a fantastic variety of dishes, plus an organized tasting of different varieties of apples and a separate tasting of different breads. I assume the results of the tastings will have something to do with what campus is eating going forward, but nobody said anything about any plans.
In years past, we've had talent shows, often structured as contests. This year it was all about athletics--a martial arts demonstration, a yoga demonstration, short foot-races, tug-of-war, and other events, including juggling. I was watching all of it when I felt a little puff of resentment because I can run and I can do a form of yoga, but I wasn't included--but of course I didn't volunteer, either. I don't know how to volunteer, who to talk to, and in fact I've never known, though I've been part of this community for a decade. And I never realized before today that I didn't know.
I've been so...pleased with myself for the things I've noticed about the school that all other students--or at least most other students--overlook. The secret stair and the door the masters use, Charlie's habit of lurking in trees to watch life go by, Allen's ability to vanish, and, perhaps most relevant at the moment, the fact that the majority of all people who have ever won a green ring all converge on campus at Lammas each year to do something together in the Mansion. But then there are all these other things I don't notice that evidently other people do.
Anyway, about Lugh.
I've heard various people (people more informed about pagan symbolism than I) explain that we mourn Lugh in August because he is a sun god and the power of the sun has gone into the grain and is about to be cut. Not, again, that Lugh actually has any devotees on campus, nor do we grow much of our grain here, but neopaganism (and maybe traditional paganism, too, I don't know) has a curiously fluid nature, with stories and symbols and reality all merging into and out of each other, such that any god or goddess can be an aspect of, or a reference to, the God or the Goddess, making it somewhat beside the point whether anyone specifically worships Lugh or not.
I've been confused about all this before. I've been confused about what many of these holidays are actually about. I'm not confused this year, and, looking back, I realize it's been a while since I was confused. I've realized, one, that I don't need to understand the symbols and concepts and so forth, that I know what Lammas is about, though I can't quite explain it, and that meaning is present, quite simply, when I enjoy the holiday. Two, the symbols and so on no longer confuse me because I know, after a fashion, what they mean. I can feel them from the inside and, occasionally, come up with my own way of explaining it.
It's simple; at Lammas, the harvest begins, and the harvest is a kind of shift from the potential to the actual, from what might become to what actually is. And as good as what is may be, that's sad. Something is gained, but something is lost.
That I will soon cease being a student here, cease preparing to be a master someday and simply be a master--I'm excited as all anything, but it's sad, too,
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